This is a list of links to stories by Ruggles Fishweir and to some of his favorite sites on the web...

                            (1)
     Nancy Englewood pressed the button, making the 
answering machine play back today's messages.
     "Nancy, Are you there? I've got Ralph's credit 
cards...
Let's go shopping.  Call me."
BEEP.
     "Honey, I have to work late again, but I'll make it up
to you later this week, maybe we can have a nice dinner or
somethin'"
CLICK.
Nancy had just started to turn off the machine when she 
heard,
     "Damn, she wasn't home.  I wanted to hear her try to 
talk you out of workin' late."
     "Tina, you're some piece of work.  Making a three-way 
call just so you can listen in, is twisted if you ask me. 
 I guess it's okay to be a little twisted as long as you're
kinky, too."
     "Just sizin' up the competition, besides, I thought 
you liked me 'cause I'm kinky."
     "Dirty minds think alike."
     "What are we going to do, lover?"
     "You know, what we always do."
     "I'm gettin' hot just thinking about it."
     Nancy starred in disbelief, holding her hands to her 
ears hoping that her husband would tell her it was all a 
cruel joke.
     Tears streamed from her eyes as she removed the tape 
from the answering machine and replaced it with a blank 
one.  Somehow she calmed herself just long enough to record
a greeting on the new tape.  She wondered if people would 
be able to detect the pain in her voice, but she decided 
she didn't care.
     "I'll kill the bastard!"
                          
                             (2)
    Nancy raised the knife above her head.  Martin's face 
had a surprised look on it as he fell over, dead.  Nancy 
promptly got some rags and began to clean up the mess. 
 Blood smeared all over the new sofa, covering the floral 
pattern with a crimson stain.  The phone rang.  She 
answered it, being careful not to soil the receiver with 
coagulating blood.  The voice on the phone brought her out 
of her reverie.
     "Mrs. Englewood, How would you like to save BIG money 
on your long-distance calls?"
     "Why do you people keep calling?  I don't care about 
long-distance," Nancy said as she slammed down the phone, 
her face was hot with rage.
     Somehow, just thinking about killing her husband made 
her feel a little better.  Nancy jumped when the phone rang
again.
     "You ready to go shopping?"
     Nancy greeted Vickie with tears and a tape recorder. 
 She hit the play button, and Vickie soon learned why she 
was so upset.
     "I thought about murder, but I don't want to make a 
mess."
     "That's you Nancy, Little Miss Practical.  No offense,
but your husband is rather handsome, I can see why other 
women would come after him.  I don't blame you though, if 
my husband cheated on me, I'd cut his pecker off and flush 
it down the toilet!"
     Shopping took away the pain for the moment.  Nancy 
soon forgot all about Martin and his secretary Tina, but 
images of them together, soon manifested themselves in her 
mind and she began to cry again.  "What's so special about 
this Tina, anyway?  She isn't much to look at and she 
wasn't all that smart as I recall."
     "Maybe he likes 'em dumb and ugly," Vickie teased.
     "Even though I hate him right now, deep down I know I 
love him and would like to grow old together with him."
     "You do have a problem."
     "You deserve better, I don't blame you," Vickie said 
as she took a sip of coffee.  They had found a table with 
some privacy, and were considering the possibilities.
     "I don't want to confront him until I decide what to 
do."
     "How will you keep from cracking up?"
     "It won't be easy.  Hey, where's that waiter?  I was 
beginning to wonder if I would ever feel like eating 
again."
     "Now, you just might make it after all."
     "With a friend like you, I just might."
     "I remember this b-movie with Danny Bonaduce.  What 
was it called?  I can't remember, anyway, I've got an 
idea..."

                            (3)
     No matter what they tried, the sturdy soldier refused 
to rise to the occasion and stand at attention.  At ease 
privates thought Martin as Tina continued to attempt to 
coax an erection from his flaccid penis.  Had guilt bugun 
to take it's toll, or was there some other reason for this 
inability?  Whatever the cause, his manhood was unwilling 
to respond and Tina was not very happy about it!
     "Damn, don't go gettin' impotent on me!"
     "I NEVER had this problem before."
     "Does your tongue work, or has it gone limp too?"
     "I don't have to take this, I'm going home."

                            (4)
     Nancy was glad that Martin was staying home more. 
 Every second Martin spent at home was another second away 
from Tina.  Somehow, Nancy managed to avoid telling Martin 
that she knew about the affair.  Eventually, Martin got a 
phone call, and she was careful not to make a sound as she 
listened in...
     "Can you come over, I promise to be nice..."
     "Actually, I'm busy now."
     "But I miss you.  I want you inside me."
     "What if I can't?"
     "If we take it slow, you should be alright.  I was 
really hoping that you would leave your wife and move in 
with me."
     "How can I say this?" Martin said, clearing his 
throat.
     "You're not thinking about ditching me, are you?  I 
would hate to have to tell her about our little affair!"
     "I'm tired of lying to my wife.  I love her, and 
really regret ever getting mixed up with you.  And if you 
tell, I'll fire your ass!"
     "If you fire me, I'll sue you for sexual harassment."
     "It's your word against mine."
     "Who do you think they'll believe, the secretary or 
the mean ol' boss?"  Tina countered.
     "So sue me, see if I care.  I don't have any money and
I may not have a wife after what I've done, but i sure as 
hell don't want you!"  Martin said as he hung up the phone.
Martin headed for the bathroom.  Nancy heard a crash and 
found Martin sprawled out on the bathroom floor.

                           (5)
     Martin woke up in the hospital, with a nurse and Nancy
both looking down at him.  "What happened?" he asked.
     "You're one lucky boy, you passed out and just missed 
busting your head on the toilet or sink," said Nancy.
     "Why did I pass out?"
     "The doctor thinks it was a mild case of ANOXIA."
     "ANOXIA, what's that?"
     "Your brain wasn't getting enough oxygen, so you 
passed out," the nurse explained.  "The doctor says your 
METHEMOGLOBIN levels were pretty high."
     "You could have died,"  Nancy added.  "I don't know 
what I would do without you."
     "I'll check back later," said the nurse.  Her heels 
squeaking as she left.
     "I've got a confession to make," said Martin with tear
filled eyes.  He wasn't sure where to begin, but somehow he
managed to tell the whole story.
     "I love you Martin, and I want to forgive you, but I'm
not sure I can ever trust you again."
     "As long as you love me, that's all that matters. 
 Because the one thing I've learned through all this is how
much I love you.  How could I be so stupid to risk throwing
away everything that's really important to me?"
     The phone rang.  "Who would be calling me in the 
hospital?"
     "Hey boss man, what will it be?  Are you leaving your 
wife?  Are you moving in with me?  Do I get to keep my job,
or do I tell your wife and sue the pants off you?"
     "Well, right now I'm not wearing pants.  And if you'd 
like, I can let you talk to the wife.  Nancy, it's for you."
CLICK.
     "I guess they hung up."
     "Tina wants to sue me for sexual harassment."
     "I've got a surprise for you," said Nancy as she dug 
in her purse and pulled out the tape recorder.  "This is 
how I found out about what you were really doing at work."
     "You mean you knew about us before my confession?"
     "My guess is that she will have a hard time proving 
that you were harassing her, since this tape makes her 
sound like some kinda' kinky whore."
     "That's amazing, she wanted to hear you complain and 
all she manged to do is cut herself off completely."
     "I like a story with a happy ending."
     "It's a wonder that you didn't try to poison me when 
you found out about the affair," said Martin as he held 
Nancy close.
     "Next time I will.  You Won't be so lucky!"  Nancy 
said with a wink and a squeeze.  I wonder if I should 
mention the SALTPETER?  Nancy thought.

                        -THE END-